I was BORN to Be BLONDE.

Yes, not only have I chosen to divulge to the internet my super common name, but now I'm also telling the whole world that I'm a blondie. How unique.

So you might just be wondering right now why I'm choosing this particular moment to come out of the closet as pertaining to my golden locks.

I promise you'll understand soon... If you can understand my peculiar vernacular at all.

If you ask Google for a definition to the word 'prom' you will find a similar result to this:

prom

präm

noun

informal

1. 1.

   NORTH AMERICAN

   a formal dance, especially one held by a class in high school or college at the end of a year.
2. 2.

   BRITISH

   short for promenade (sense 1 of the noun).

But I think that prom has a very important third definition that needs to be widely known...

So below, you will find my additional definition to prom.

prom

präm

    3. Crazy Squirrel

        a context in which the confusing of two people is extremely socially unacceptable.

Have I piqued your interest yet? Are you intrigued?

[story telling voice comes from out of the bowels of my being, where it normally dwells whenever I'm not telling a story-- which makes it more of a hotel than a home.]


AHEM.
PROM

As I mentioned before, I haven't spent all of my time 'in Arizona' in Arizona. I've spent it in Arizona, Nevada, Utah, Wyoming, Nebraska, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Delaware, Virginia, and Washington DC.

So it should come of little surprise to you that I happened to be back in Utah for the weekend of my High School Prom.

A few of my friends knew I would be back, and it also happened to be the weekend of the anniversary of my birth.

So I got asked!
via this picture, over a text message...


The text said something to the effect of "What if you found this on your doorstep?"

I wasn't sure if they were just asking my opinion as to what kind of reaction they would get or if they were actually asking me to prom.



Some Key Information as Background:
[I received this text from a contact on my phone named 'Tanner'.

Because of a number of reasons you probably wouldn't care to hear, including that I know a good number of Tanners and that only about half of them went to my school, I assumed very quickly that this was one particular Tanner.]

You might be able to see where this story is headed by now.

Of course, I clarified with the sender that they were, in fact, asking me to prom, and then I asked for an address.

I just happened to have approximately 350 tootsie roll wrappers, most of which were folded very carefully into tiny little sailor paper hats. Don't ask why, just know that I have one crafty sister.

SO! I take these hats and I make a cute little response package, one of them saying on the inside "Go to prom with you? Tanner Asdf? Aye, aye toots."

I decorated the package very nicely, addressing Tanner Asdf by name a good number of times, as that's the way I speak, constantly calling peoples' names, to keep their focus or something, I don't know why...

A few days later, I receive a text message from Tanner Jkl;, my buddy listed only as 'Tanner' in my phone contacts, sometimes better known as "thief" by those who have read previous entries here, asking me why I had sent a package for Tanner Asdf to his--Tanner Jkl;'s house. Obviously, I had mixed up their addresses. I tried to explain this to the inquiring Tanner, but then he asked why I ever needed to send the other Tanner a package anyway.

My answer was more complicated than it needed to be, but I briefly explained that the Tanner in question had asked me to prom.

Tanner Jkl; informed me that he had actually been the asker.

Boy, did I feel sheepish.

AND I LAUGHED SOOOOO HARD.

I couldn't control it. It was one of the dumbest things I'd ever done, and the stupidity of it was cracking me up.

So for anyone who didn't follow that, I thought that I'd been asked by one Tanner, so I answered him with a yes, but then I'd actually been asked by another Tanner, but still sent the response to his house, just with the wrong last name all over it.

And of course the two of them were sitting together watching a movie while I figured this out.

So they opened the package together.

I told the Tanner who'd actually asked me to just cross out the other last name wherever it appeared, and replace it with his own.

And then I finally understood that random R.It was an indicator to the boy's actual last name.



Good heavens to Betsy, I was born to be blonde.








But all this aside,

Prom was super fun and I had a great time with some of the best friends ever, and we laughed plenty. And then some more.